day one. a good place to start

What I love most about being a wedding photographer is the ability to witness the most beautiful and intimate moments between people, documenting it, and giving them images of memories that they can treasure for a lifetime. For me, it’s always been that simple. 

This July I got engaged to my love and best friend (you can read our engagement story here) and I quickly realized that the beauty I see that wedding day as a photographer isn’t that simple. Within the past four months I’ve had more talks about budget than I can even handle, I’ve cried a few times, completely changed my plans – and I still don’t know the exact date we are getting married. It’s frustrating. You read blogs and magazines, you see perfect weddings with perfect details, you go to your friends wedding, you’ve dreamed of your weddings for years – then it’s your turn and the pressure is on.

But what I’ve come to find out is that most of that pressure isn’t even warranted. I wanted to start my 30 days of tips, inspiration, and resources with a manifesto that was written by Jonas Peterson,  a world renown photographer.

Read the whole thing.

Print it and read it again when you are getting frustrated or overwhelmed.

Let it bring you back to the simple fact that you are marrying the love of your life and your wedding should be a celebration of that.

Simple.

It’s 4.47am when I sit down to write this. I woke up 30 minutes ago and couldn’t go back to sleep. I’ve been thinking about this for so long, but a couple of things lately have reinforced what I already knew.

The wedding train has derailed.

Put down those mason jars, store away that vintage typewriter and fairy lights and sit down because you need to listen. This is an intervention. The whole wedding industry has gone detail bananas and we need to clear a few things up.

– You! Over there! Step away from the hay bales and the Vintage Navajo rugs and come over here. Sit! Down! No, you don’t have to put lavender on the plates, you need to wake up!

We’re getting lost in details. The whole wedding industry is drifting away from what weddings are about and we’re all part of the problem – bloggers, photographers, planners and vendors – all hypocrites feeding the detail beast.

Strip it back.

Peel the layers off.

And start again.

At the center of every wedding we have a girl. Who fell in love with a boy. Or a girl who fell in love with a girl. Or a boy who fell in l… you get my point.

The rest is fluff.

If you read magazines and wedding blogs today, you’d think it’s all about the dress, the decorations, invitations or a million other things.

THINGS.

It’s not.

It’s about celebrating love, a manifestation of commitment, a gathering of friends and family.

Because you’re in love.

But if you visit many of the blogs today, you’d think it’s about other things. Heck, there are even themed shoots with no people. As if candles and old LP players on a blanket in a clearing in a forest make a wedding. Just add people. And maybe a groom. Or actually don’t, the wedding is about the details, remember? Details, details, details.

Strip it back.

Peel the layers off.

And start again.

Weddings are about people, it’s about commitment and celebrating love. It’s about you. Build on that and everything else will follow.

I am a detail person, so it’s not that I don’t like details. I love details. Details, details, details. Love them. I honestly do. I’ve worked with some of the best planners in the business and they’ve styled weddings to perfection, made details stand out and it’s always been great, because they’ve built on the couples, starting with who they are. And I actually like shooting details. A lot.

When I was younger I used to record mix tapes and give to girls I liked.

Every detail was thought out, every letter, every scribble, every word on that tape had meaning. I love me some details. I grew up in a house with vintage bottles and mason jars everywhere. That and rocks collected from oceans and fields. So I get the jar and bottle thing, I truly do. Throw in some rocks and I’m there. But remember what the wedding is about, why you’re doing this, that’s all you really need. Don’t stress out about building a fairytale wedding, perfectly crafted, every detail borrowed from somewhere else.

Look away from the blogs and magazines.

And look within.

Why are you doing this? What does it mean to you? Do you really need all that…stuff? And if you want stuff, are you adding stuff that actually means something to you? What do you want to remember from your day? The cake, the flowers, the dress from Hoya de la Poopy?

Or do you want to focus on that moment between you two? The boy? Who fell in love with a girl?

Strip it back.

Peel the layers off.

And start again.

Is Jonas implying that we should throw out all details and all of our planning? I don’t think that’s the point of this manifesto. I am constantly browsing wedding blogs, etsy, pinterest etc for inspiration and I definitely think these resources are important. But before I delve into a month of tips, inspiration and resources I want to make sure you keep this in mind. Remember what has brought you to this point in your life and don’t loose that focus.

It’s tough, trust me.

Print the manifesto.

Read it.

It helps.

 

What have you found to be the most frustrating part of the planning process so far? What has been the most exciting?

 

 

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